What I’ve Learned About Writing From Failing To Do Chin Ups

On the passage of time

I’ve always wanted to be strong enough to do chin ups, but fluctuating weight, terrible upper body strength and a lack of commitment to practise means I cannot. I’m getting closer. Just one, I think. Just one.

I bought a pull up bar many years ago and it’s really good for drying sheets on, and entering a room on a swing, like I’m Spidey arriving at the scene of the crime. But the fabled chin up still evades me.

After some internet searching, and countless videos of people making it look very easy, I picked up some tips on how to get better at it. One suggestion was to get into chin up position, with your chin above the bar, maybe using a chair to help you, and then hold that position for as long as you can, to get used to the feeling of holding your weight. Start with five seconds, then ten, then fifteen, and so on.

I started with five seconds, and it quickly became the longest five seconds of my life, and then it was over. Then after a week of five second chin ups, I started on my ten seconds, and that quickly became the longest ten seconds of my life and… Nikesh, I’mn going to stop you right there, because I have to ask, is this now a fitness substack? Are you about to announce you’re training for Season 3 of Gladiators?

I’m glad you asked, Narrative Construct Nikesh, but no…

Well, Writer Nikesh, get to the writing tip please, we’re all busy and this amount of set up and stalling is likely to cause a mass exodus…

Okay, fine, the thing that learning to do chin ups taught me, alongside spending ten lo-ho-ho-hong seconds trying to build up my strength and stamina is about the passage of time.